Good afternoon Karen,
My name is Timotheus Gordon Jr., also known as Pharaoh or T.J., and I am a freelance writer, blogger, and event photographer in Chicago. I’m also an aspie…well technically I have high functioning autism because my communication abilities regressed around age 2 1/2.
I read your post, “Moving Forward in Life with True and Real Friends“. I was so moved by your post that I decided write a response/commentary to it. Being autistic myself, I definitely can relate to struggles with finding and keeping true friends. The following quote in the blog stood out to me:
My advice to you on this subject is that be on the lookout and be careful because people deserve to have friends that treat you right, accept you for who they are, and they give you a chance to socialize. A real friend is someone who accepts you for who you are as a person, they’re always there for you, and they treat you with respect. If someone doesn’t treat you right and be respectful to you, that person isn’t worth your time and not a real friend to you.
I should take advice and apply it to my own life. I agree with you wholeheartedly that real friends accept their friends for they are and be loyal to you. They don’t try to change people just because they don’t like lifestyles or ways of thinking that are different from their own. And true friends support you no matter what, even if they have to be honest and tell you the truth out of love.
Your post speaks to me. I go through a similar thing with my friends. In each stage of my life, I end up with only a handful of loyal friends. I start off with a lot friends and associates, but by the time I transition to a new phase of my life, my friend circle shrinks dramatically. I don’t know why. Perhaps most of my “friends” were only people who used me for my knowledge or wanted that chance to interact with someone on the autistic spectrum. Maybe I was unfit to hang out, because I rarely get invited to stuff. Or possibly life just happens and sometimes things happen. In some cases, my friendships did end with disagreements or conflicts-of-interest. I really don’t know why my friend circle is small, but I don’t worry about much. I know who would go to war with me and lead me to the right direction. Those are my true friends.
We, as people with autism, struggle with finding and keeping friends. They can be cruel to us or use us for our talents and information. Sometimes, we may not understand why some friends don’t want to deal with us. It can be due to our struggle to understand unspoken & complex social cues or follow certain social norms. We can’t read people at times. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t know about finding and keeping loyal friends. In fact, I would like to add something to your advice: a real friend is someone who can tell the truth and cares about your well-being. He or she doesn’t lie to your face or say things just to make you feel good.
I pray that you continue to blog and inspire those with autism; we sure need more voices in that community that can speak to the masses about what we go through on a daily basis. It’s time for us to tell OUR story on autism acceptance. I’m sure that you are inspiring people through your blog and book; I know that you’ll continue to do so after the book hits stores.
P.S.: I am looking forward to your book release. In fact, I think I’ll write a review for you once I get my hands on a copy of the book. :)
- Moving Forward in Life with True and Real Friends (karenwillisbooks.wordpress.com)
- My Aspie’s Valentine blessed my heart again! (daciawilkinson.wordpress.com)
- Encouragement from a fellow aspie (aspiesblog.wordpress.com)
- Pharaoh’s Principles: Navigating Worlds (timotheusgordon.com)
- Why can’t we be friends? (nickisamuels.wordpress.com)
- 10 things not to say to someone with Asperger’s (catastraspie.wordpress.com)
- Aspie to Aspie: Relationships (aspergersgirls.wordpress.com)
- Sensory, empathy, fight and flight (alienhippy.wordpress.com)
- How to love an Aspie (aspiewarrior.com)
- being #aspie (yablovh.wordpress.com)